I Hate You Because My Friend Hates You.

 March 26, 2015 

Women and girls have been dealing with this problem for years; it’s this notion of hating someone purely because your friend hates them without even knowing them. I see this phenomenon happening a lot with Junior High and High school girls, where hating another girl becomes acceptable based on the relationship they had with their friend. As we all know Junior High and High School is another world that sucks you into this dramatic black hole of nonsense. Does it make it okay? Absolutely not but their brain is still developing so we still have hope for them. 

My problem with this is when grown women in the early 20’s and on, begin to adopt this mentality. Where we automatically hate another person because of a relationship they had with our friend. Don’t get me wrong, friendship is based on loyalty, trust, and love. I am not saying go and hang out with your best friends worst enemy. What I am trying to say is having animosity and hatred towards a person you have never met is dangerous, toxic, and unacceptable.

The reason I am writing about this topic is because sometimes we have an argument or a falling out with a person, which is fine, life happens but what you do after that is of great importance. I think about who I have had falling outs with and the aftermath that occurs with that. People that I have never met have such ill feelings towards me but yet have never spoken a single word to me. They are basing all their facts on one version of a story they have heard. Women have many layers to them, and are all armed with different stories. Instead of spreading unnecessary hate, make your own judgements on an individual rather than getting a second hand source of information.

Furthermore, what continued to inspire me to write about this topic was a lecture I heard by Nouman Ali Khan. I decided to take a walk the other day (I’m super athletic...jk first walk since 2007 lol) and listen to one of his lectures. The lecture title was “Do Not Insult People,” and the importance of it. He went on to explain that “when a Muslim doesn’t think twice about making fun of another Muslim than there’s something missing for his love of Allah’s Messenger.” Wow how powerful is that. He continues to state the importance of facial expressions, and the way we look at a person. Allah said when you put others down with just your facial expressions and not a single word is being said you are insulting yourself. When you treat other people that way you are asking for yourself to be treated in the same way. 

I’m not saying that I am perfect and have never fallen into this trap but for the past few years I have been more conscious in how I treat people and how I interact with them. I am really trying to rid my life of anything negative, and to forgive people but more importantly to forgive myself. We all make mistakes and Inshallah we can all work to better ourselves.

 I have posted the video below, if you would like to watch it! Thank you for reading my blog, I hope you come again xo.

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