This is the most personal blog post I will write. Ever since 2015 has started it has been an odd year. Local and international news seemed to continuously escalate on such a hateful level. I just remember talking to co workers and friends about how odd 2015 has been. It hasn't been horrible nor has it been great. 

September 17, my 2015 would take a dramatic turn. My step brother passed away and our lives completely changed. A young man who was so loving and had so much to offer the world was gone. It doesn't matter how many movies you watch or how many stories people tell you about their experiences with losing a loved one, nothing will prepare you for that news. I would give up anything just to hear him make fun of me watching Real Housewives. Each day that passed by got harder. Sleepless nights and a lot of private crying sessions. My patience level had decreased, I couldn't deal with many people and only wanted to hang out with a certain few. My usual bubbly demeanour completely shutdown without even realizing it. 

On November 28, I would experience yet another life changing experience. My grandparents had invited all their children and grandchildren for dinner, which wasn't anything unusual. We had a great feast, enjoyed some sweets and I was heading out to my next destination, which would be to my friends house. I was making a left turn at an intersection and the next thing I know is that everything completely turned white. I had been in a massive car accident, where I was t-boned. The funny thing is (well I don't know how funny it is) I did not even see the car coming towards me, I was totally caught off guard. It was like those drinking and driving commercials where they are have a conversation and laughing, and all of a sudden a car smashes into them. I just remember all my air bags deploying and profusely pressing on my brakes not to hit the pole. My life flashed before my eyes, I literally thought I was going to die in that moment. My immediate thoughts were "am I ready to die like this?" "what was the last conversation with my mom and loved ones? Was it on a good note? "How was I as a human?" All these thoughts quickly rushed through my head. 

I just remember not being able to breath,  and the side of my stomach was in pain. Finally people came out and helped me out of my car. I was in complete shock. I never really looked at my car or had a chance to talk to the other car involved. I just remembered asking whether they were alive or not. They were, which was good news. The fire truck and ambulance came soon after and I had been put in the ambulance. My family came rushing to my aid, and when I seen mom I started crying. At that very moment I truly realized the line "heaven lies under the feet of your mother." It had a whole new meaning to it. As the shock began to wear off I was in excruciating pain, I was rushed to the hospital. My aunts and uncles rushed to my side while I was in the trauma room. I remember my aunt was holding my hand and I just kept crying, she said whats wrong Wedad? I said I was in pain. The truth was I was in massive pain but I was crying more about the fact that I survived. How was I that lucky? Alhamdiallah. That is not how I wanted to die, I still had so much to do in this world. The accident was more traumatic in an emotional sense rather than a physical one. 

After the exams came back I had broken four ribs, as well as a sore hand and foot. I stayed in the hospital for a few days but even when I got home every time I seen my mom I would hug her and cry. Subhanllah when Allah gives you a second chance humble yourself. Ask yourself how can you live your life more differently. I had a conversation with a friend afterwards and he told me that "we are taught that suffering is one promise that life always keeps so that when happiness comes we know it as a gift and it is ours only for a brief time." But my realization after the accident is that happiness is the constant we are always surrounded by it and suffering is what is brief. 

I had a trip scheduled to Jordan and Turkey two weeks after my accident. A lot of people said to cancel it. I decided not to, Allah gave me another chance to live I was not going to give that up, you only live once right.  Jordan is known for their beautiful tourist attractions, obviously I experienced them but that wasn't what I really was looking forward to do. I had an opportunity to volunteer at a Palestinian refugee camp. The importance of giving back has always been a main concern of mine but it was now of utmost importance to carry it out on this trip. The experience was amazing and humbling. I will have those details in another blog. 

Like I said previously my patience level had a decreased when my step brother passed away. After the accident I had almost a moral responsibility to humble my patience. You only have a short period on this earth you have to maximize the oppotunities of helping others out and being the best version of yourself.  

In conclusion I am not telling you to feel sorry for me by any means. Just make every minute count and leave this world having people talking about how great your character was. At the end of the day that is all we will be remembered by. 

A huge thank you to my mother, siblings, aunts/uncles, grandparents, and friends (Rand, Melissa, Lina, and Majida) who have been such a constant support through this whole journey.